Two Years into Marriage, Tell Friends ‘We’re Getting Divorced.’ But Couple Never Expects Their Response

Two Years into Marriage Tell Friends Were Getting Divorced But Couple Never Expects Their Response

Tammie Haveman is a follower of Jesus, wife, mother, and blogger. Her Facebook profile is filled with sweet photos of her children and photos of her and her husband, Dave, smiling together.

It would appear that Haveman has a pretty picture-perfect life. She even recently posted on Twitter, “Today Dave Haveman and I are celebrating twenty years of marriage. He is my best friend, my biggest cheerleader.”

You would never have guessed by a quick glimpse into her current life that she and Dave were at one time close to divorce. Instead of hiding that part of their lives in the dark, she has exposed the hard truth that helped save their marriage into the light.

The Havemans were the “quintessential Christian couple” who loved Jesus. They read books together, prayed together, and expected to “nail this marriage thing.”

They had the fairy-tale wedding. Life was not happily ever after, though.

Their marriage was filled with conflict, misunderstandings, struggles to deal with old baggage, and selfishness. Tammie and Dave were miserable.

After two years of marriage, the young couple “stood at the edge of divorce ready to jump.” The world was supporting their urge to jump because, after all, they had grown apart and were extremely unhappy in the current state of their relationship.

Their faithful friends, however, pulled them away from the edge as they spoke loving and truthful words. Before making the plunge into the waters of divorce, the couple slowly opened up to family and friends about their consideration of divorce.

The overwhelming message from friends and family was “not on our watch.” Tammie Haveman wrote, “Looking back, Dave and I marvel that no one…NO ONE…told us what we wanted to hear or let us off the hook of the commitment we made.”

Instead, their faithful friends and family prayed over them, loved them, listened to them, and held them accountable to their marriage vows. Through the storms of early marriage, Tammie and Dave learned to let “truth drown out the lies that the world doles out about marriage and happiness.”

One of these truths was not measuring the value of their marriage purely on romantic feelings. Instead, they realized that love looked a lot more like commitment and hard work even when the feelings were not there.

Another truth was to “keep walking through the fire” instead of giving up when faced with marriage trials. Not every marriage can be saved in the midst of grave issues, but Tammie opened up about her own marriage to encourage couples that communication issues and unmet expectations can be solved.

If you are struggling in your marriage, surround yourself with friends and family that will speak truth into your marriage. Maybe, you are that friend who needs to pray over your friend’s marriage, or be the one to pull a friend away from the edge of divorce when everyone else is encouraging her to jump.

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